Rejection and How To Handle It
You Can’t Please Everyone
- In the song “ Garden Party” the singer Ricky Nelson sings:
- I went to a garden party to reminisce with my old friends
- A chance to share old memories and play our songs again
- When I got to the garden party, they all knew my name
- No one recognized me, I didn’t look the same
- But it’s all right now, I learned my lesson well.
- You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself!
What Does This Have To Do With Tango?
- Tango due to it’s “Intimate Embrace” requires that a higher standard of desire is met by both men and women to dance Tango.
- At a Milonga, ladies don’t expect all the men to make offers to dance and the men should not expect that their offers to dance will all be accepted either.
There are a millions and one subconscious reasons that cause desire or lack of it towards someone. Don’t take offence!
Rejection In Tango & Life
- Life is a series on problems that we resolve to go on to the next one.
- First you need to learn how to Tango. Then you have to find the community you fit in with. Then you have to work on improving your skills. Next start going to Tango communities you have never been to and meet new people.
- In life we all suffer rejection in one form or another, and yet we survive.
Gracefully accept the rejections and don’t hold bad feelings toward the rejecter. Accept it and move on with your life and your dancing.
You’re Going To Reject And Be Rejected
- “It Takes Two To Tango” and both must meet that invisible needs of subconscious desire.
- Don’t be afraid of being rejected or you will become a wallflower.
- Women should smile and be open to invitations.
- It could be your dress is the wrong colour, or your too short, fat, skinny, young, old or any number of things going on in the head of the other people that are available to tango. In the end it has nothing to do with you.
Remember, “You can’t please everybody, you can only please yourself”.
It Only Hurts If You Let It!
- You have no control whatsoever on what is going on in the head of the person you are interested in dancing with. Who knows what is in another person’s head.
- You may remind them of their ex or someone who they hate.
- They may mistake you for someone else. May not like the colour you are wearing.
- They may feel that you don’t know the dance as well as they do and don’t want to waste their time dancing with someone they feel is not at their level of expertise. Or the reverse and think they are at not your level.
Rejection only hurts if you let it!!!
A Right To Their Feelings
- Because someone comes to a Milgona does not mean that they are obligated to dance with anyone. That stands for men and women.
- If a person rejects your offer or you are the one doing the rejecting, understand that it is a privilege to enter the “Intimate Embrace” not a right.
- You have a right to your feelings and they to theirs.
- If you danced with someone and you were not comparable in tango skills or vibes don’t be offended if they turn down your next request to dance again.
- Like Ricky said,”ya got to please yourself”.
Remember most people just want to dance and are not looking for the love of their lives.
Increasing Your Odds
- If your local Tango community does not have enough men or women you should make an effort to bring more people into the tango community.
- Visit other Tango communities in your area and help get the word out about your group.
- Follow all the Tango Etiquette rules.
- Beware of your personal hygiene.
- Invite teachers to give a lesson before your next Milonga and they may attract dancers that may had not come to your Milgonas in the past.
Visit our website www.Tango On The Hudson.com to post your next event.
There is a feeling of community and inclusion in the Hudson Valley Tango population. There is always room for new members to come onto the Tango dance floor. Tango dances are taking place all over the Hudson Valley, the world and the Tri-State area.
So what are you waiting for, call Dojo Dance Studio today:
Phone: (845) 475-6006- http://www.DoJoDanceCompany.com
Their studio is at 464 Main Street, Beacon, N.Y.
- http://www.TangoUnderTheTent.com is a un-profit tango organization.
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